If you see me writing:

• Don't ask me what I'm writing.
• Say, "Hey!"
• Scare me.
• Read what I'm writing.
• Throw something on my desk.
• Wait for me until I'm "finished."
• Say, "Oops! I'll come back. Keep on writing what you were writing."

If you see me writing:

• Walk right past me.
• Slip slowly away like a ninja wearing anti-gravity boots and an Elven Cloak Of Invisibility.
• Leave me flowers and chocolates and tiny, pinky-sized twelve pack bottles of beer.
• Give me the respect that I deserve as a concentrating genius, take quiet notes with a rubber pencil on a very soft pad of un-scratchy paper. You're watching literary history, soak it in.
• Don't think I'm faking being busy if I'm doing nothing but staring at a Word document. I'm thinking - which is writing, but just in its teething stages. Huh?
• Slip a dollar in my pocket without me noticing. Thanks for that, brutha.

If you see me writing:

• It's perfectly okay to disregard all of these guidelines only, and I say ONLY if......you're totally hot.